


Nine Lives of Dream

by ari0aki



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anal, Angst, First Time, Fluff, Humour, M/M, Sex, crazy parents, first chapter sfw, kurokenmonth, obe, second chapter nsfw, urban fantasy elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-12
Updated: 2015-06-14
Packaged: 2018-04-04 03:31:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4124121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ari0aki/pseuds/ari0aki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>KuroKen Month #4: Cats - No one can understand the intricacies of the soul, but the soul knows what it wants and will actively seek it out when denied too long.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cats

He tottered at the precipice. The world spread out below him like a basin. The air smelling thick of city rain, a rain unlike that which is found in the mountains of Okutama just an hour's train ride out of Tokyo's city center, distinct in its acrid copper iron undertones. A strangled mewl. Inertia. Then falling. Falling. Falling. Dread. Stomach lurching. Air in abundant supply, but breath short. Body contorting. Head over foot over body. Sky, ground, sky, ground, sky. Body contorting. A sea of pitch asphalt expanding, as if rising to meet him. And—

xXx

Thud. Kenma groaned, eyes blearily blinking back sleep. The ceiling and part of an inverted bookshelf and desk bleeding into his perception as he became aware of his state of upside down entanglement in his sheets, back against the floor and legs still on his bed. It was dark. A quick glance towards the clock on his desk read 3:33am. He grimaced. It was an ungodly hour to be awake. Pulling his legs over the side of the bed to reunite with the rest of him, he sat up, disentangling himself from the sheets and setting them back on the bed as he stretched, rubbing at the sore spot where his head had made solid contact with the ground.

'If cats really do always land on their feet, it would be more convenient to be a cat in such situations,' Kenma mused dully as he clambered back into bed. Still so very tired. Morning would come on swift wings and practice was hard enough without a full night's sleep. Golden eyes closed for the second time that night. He did not dream.

xXx

That which we call myth is merely a collective dream, shared en masse by millions, fed and endorsed by billions. Dreams then can be construed as myth. Personal myths that rouses the soul from slumbering stillness. It is shame they are given such scant attention. We hustle along amidst the bustle of daily life and see nothing. Blurs and fragments of perception, slivers of a neglected whole. Of our world a great many things escapes us. And of ourselves, we no longer take ownership of our own feelings and actions. Our souls shudder and they thirst. And thirst not sated begins to seek.

We seek not in the rational and tangible, but in things irrational and ambiguous. We seek in the enigmatic. We seek to express that which propriety would have us deny.

xXx

It was wrong. His body felt wrong. All wrong. Disproportionate. His point of view was far too low – like he was lying on the ground – except he knew he was sitting up. His peripheral vision was so broad he could almost see behind himself. His nose twitched. He could smell everything. Rank rotting fish from the dumpster a few feet to his left. The stringent pungency of gas and grease stained asphalt. A fascinating odor that rose from a discarded candy wrapper.

Starting over to investigate he startled as he fell over himself in a tumble of limbs. A sound came from his throat that sounded far too much like the simpering mewl of a newborn kitten. Lying there, sprawled on the ground, he could have cried.

Clumsily he righted himself and looked around, finding himself beginning to clean himself, licking at the soft fur on one shoulder with a pink tongue. He stopped immediately disgusted by the action.

'This must be a dream.'

'This must be a dream.'

"I want to wake up now!" he cried but the words came from his throat in another mewling whimper. And then silence. But an incomplete silence. Triangular ears perked up as he heard clopping footsteps approaching down the alley.

He turned his head to see a massive shadowy shape approaching him cautiously from the far side of the dumpster. It was a Rottweiler, a monster of a dog that Kenma would have avoided even if he weren't trapped in some small animals body. Why the hell a dog like this wasn't leashed in the city was beyond him as he felt the fear increasing.

The Rottweiler paused when it realized he had noticed it. A long moment suspended in bated terror and the dog charged at him, its growl freezing him for a heartbeat more before he bolted. Or tried to. Unaccustomed to the odd shape of his limbs and their correlation to each other, Kenma went sprawling again. Before he could recover the Rottweiler was rearing over him. Wide-eyed in trepidation Kenma felt its jaws close down on him, capturing the small body, bones grinding against each other, fracturing and crunching as teeth tore down into him—

Kenma woke with a start. He woke in his own bed, drenched in sweat, hair sticking to his face and neck, night shirt clinging to his damp skin, legs half tangled in the sheets. The clock across the room on his desk read 3:33am. Awash with relief he closed his eyes focusing on calming his breathing and racing heart.

'Only a dream.'

Opening his eyes and staring up at the dark ceiling Kenma assured himself it hadn't been real. He hadn't almost died out there in some back alley of Tokyo's streets trapped in some stray cat's body. Not really. But still it had been so vivid… so detailed down to the most minute of sensory observations… something Kenma couldn't possibly have imagined without prior knowledge of a cat's sensory perceptive capabilities… something he was sure he didn't know.

Suddenly the room felt cold. He shivered at the chill, thinking he could see his breath for a moment. So cold you'd almost think summer had given way to winter in the few short hours he'd been asleep. Exhaling experimentally he noted that he really couldn't see his breath. The room already feeling far warmer, the stagnant still warmth of summer in Tokyo. The chill then, the trembling chill, must have been just a residue of his dream.

That stupid dream. Which wasn't real.

xXx

"Are you okay Kenma?" Kuroo frowned as Kenma met him at the front gate of his house. "You look terrible."

"I'm fine," Kenma mumbled as he walked past Kuroo, the taller male falling into step beside him. He'd never said as much, but he liked walking to school with Kuroo in the mornings. For the longest time, he'd wake to Kuroo inviting himself into his room for a morning wakeup call. Kenma would drowsily look up from his fort of pillows and sheets to the hand ruffling his hair and see the most affectionate smile which faded into a brilliant Cheshire grin the moment he realized that Kenma was awake. It had been something Kenma looked forward to, but lately Kuroo would remain by the front gate. He'd send a text to make sure he was up and would wait patiently outside.

Kenma didn't know what had caused the change, but he couldn't say that he wasn't a bit saddened by the growing distance between them. Though he supposed it was only natural to grow apart from your childhood friends eventually. Children largely lack boundaries, the touches and open expressions Kuroo afforded him in childhood that he always made a show of being bothered by because of how embarrassing it was, were things he always assumed would remain constant, like the consideration Kuroo always lavished him with – drinks after practice, concern when he was ill, standing in line for hours with him to get the new monster hunter game when it came out. That was all nice, but it was only when Kuroo had stopped the casual touches and morning wakeup calls, that Kenma really felt the loneliness gnawing at him – the idiocy of being bogged down by feelings like embarrassment and not enjoying it more when those things were being freely given. And he wasn't about to go asking for it.

"If you don't want to talk about it with me that's fine, but you don't have to lie," Kuroo frowned.

"I-"

"You have dark shadows under your eyes, it would be clear to anyone with eyes that you didn't sleep last night."

Golden eyes strayed down to white sneakers. No words came out.

"Ah, you know coach was talking about starting a new training regimen today," Kuroo grinned hands folded behind his head as he walked ahead a few steps.

Kenma's head snapped up at the near imperceptible hint of sullenness in Kuroo's tone, catching a glimpse of the strain in his smile as he walked ahead. In all the years they'd been friends, Kuroo had never made such an unnatural expression before. He was perfectly comfortable saying and doing whatever he wanted with a perfect air of nonchalance. The tightness in his jaw as his lips twitched up into a willed smile really shook Kenma. He didn't like it. He wanted to say so. His brows furrowed, frustration with his own silence in the matter adding to the anxiety wrought from his dreams.

As Kenma listened to Kuroo talk about things regarding the club, the opportunity to say anything seemed to have come and gone and his silence weighed heavier on him than normal.

xXx

Gasping in surprise as a chill like a winter wind hit him, Kenma opened his eyes with a start. For one moment he was drowsily waiting for his mom to call him down for dinner, then suddenly he was—

Elsewhere.

Out of his body. In something else's body. The feeling was too familiar for him not to recognize it. He looked down at himself to see the front legs of a cat. Mottled cream colored fur. His vision was off again. The perspective was wrong. Peripheral vision enhanced, colors muted. A world of scents assailed his nostrils. Car exhaust fumes, a myriad of foods in varying sates of decay in the dumpster behind what must have been a restaurant. His hearing too enhanced, picked up on a multitude of sounds, sharp, breaking like brittle glass in his ears – unpleasant.

He was perched on a cardboard box which a quick survey proved to be the top box on a stack of haphazardly piled boxes. A good vantage point for seeing the alley and the street beyond with people passing.

Kenma started forward, but as had invariably happened to him in previous dreams like this one, the unfamiliar body moved all wrong. He lost his balance, barely catching himself from falling from his perch and tumbling down the mountain of boxes. His frustration came out in the form of a plaintive meow.

'Damn it, I don't need this!' Kenma huffed as he began tentatively testing out his motor functions. Stretching one pawed front leg forward and back, the other then back. Nodding to himself at the progress, he moved to the back legs, a short forward step then back, the other a short forward step and back. Bend all as if crouching to pounce – that took a bit more concentration to do and he almost fell over twice, but somehow managed to do it. Silently congratulating himself for having not tumbled to the ground in an undignified heap, Kenma stretched his borrowed form, yawning.

A buzzing started up in the back of his head – a built in natural warning system that his host body recognized even with a different driver. Turning, careful how he moved the cat's limbs, his eyes narrowed on the vague shape of a figure standing there at the back of the alleyway. It was too ill defined – shrouded by shadow so that even his sharpened vision could not properly perceive.

'The next time I'm back in my body-'

The thought was halted almost as soon as it had begun, Kenma shaking his head assuring himself once again that it was all just a dream, and that he wasn't really not in his body… as if he'd have been able to do anything about it even if by some mystical forces his soul or whatever had decided to slip out and go wandering around in some cat's body. It wasn't like he could chain his soul to it to prevent it from leaving.

'Who's there? What do you want?' Kenma asked, the warning bells in his head increasing in intensity, but all that came out was a strangled yowl.

Anxiously Kenma hopped from the tower of boxes, landing with only a minor fumble, still facing the figure – too afraid to not have the threatening presence in his sights. The figure took a step forward. The chill down Kenma's spine deepened. The cat's spirit reared up in panic and took over its body, turning and dashing away with heart-wrenching speed that would have made Kenma's stomach lurch had he been in his own body… There it was again. It was so vivid, he couldn't help thinking as though he were really some disembodied spirit riding shotgun in an alley cat's head.

'Wake up. Wake up. Have to wake up.'

An indecipherable sound called after him as he ran, head spinning from the unfamiliar motion of the cat, from the intake of far more sensory information than he was used to, and from the overbearing anxiety wreaking havoc on his nerves. Bolting down the street, darting between the legs of pedestrians, and vaguely recognizing the area to be part of the network of streets behind Shinjuku station, Kenma felt whatever it was that was joining him to the cat letting go. Like falling into an abyss the colors and shapes of the city were swallowed by darkness, sound muting until he could perceive nothing but his own breathing. Down. Down. Spinning in a tightening whirl until—

Kenma blinked his eyes open with a start. Ceiling? Check. Hands? Check. Desk? Check. Time? 3:33am. Breathing a sigh of relief he patted down his body instinctively as if to assure himself he was all there, that no part of him had remained in that feline form. Groaning he rolled onto his side, clutching arms around his stomach which roiled uncomfortably – churning and gurgling in ulcer worried knots – he felt sick.

'Ugh, I don't want to go to practice today,' Kenma frowned as he hugged the deformed cat-shaped pillow Kuroo had gotten him when they were still in middle school. Kuroo had probably meant it to be a gag gift, but Kenma had been genuinely happy to receive it. When he stopped to think about it, Kuroo had been a source of stability and strength for him since they'd met all those years ago, and he had to wonder why he'd never said as much to his good friend. Kuroo would know, right? He'd understand without Kenma having to say it, wouldn't he? That he was a very special and important existence to Kenma? Surely he knew that…

'I want to hear Kuroo's voice~' Kenma thought, hugging the pillow tighter.

xXx

"You've been so distracted lately, what's up with that? Are you sick?" Kuroo asked, worry having been etched into his features for almost their entire evening practice.

Shaking his head, Kenma slid his arms into his sweater. It had been almost two weeks since the first time he'd had one of those dreams. Kenma had near worried himself into a fit over the possible reason for having such ridiculous dreams. There was no such thing as out of body experiences. Sure people claim it's possible, but there was just no way. And even if such a thing really was "a thing," then it shouldn't have been happening to him of all people. There was no possible reason for his soul to go straying all over the place.

"Seriously Kenma, what's wrong? You're making me worry," Kuroo said a deep frown creasing his brows and turning down the corners of his lips, before making a quick amendment. "When the brain's not working up to speed, the rest of the body flounders. We need you to be at your best out there."

"I'm okay."

"You're not okay, you missed your set completely, blanked out and almost got hit in the face with the ball, and you mistook Lev for me after practice when you asked for juice from the vending machines. Where exactly were you today? 'Cause wherever it was, it wasn't here," Kuroo said in full on captain mode, before catching himself and shaking his head. To Kenma, it was apparent that Kuroo was having difficulty settling on the right approach to the issue. Should he face Kenma as Nekoma's captain? A friend? Something else? What was the right degree of distance, familiarity or authority to use? He just didn't know. "Just tell me what's wrong so I can help."

"I'm sorry about practice," Kenma said meeting Kuroo's gaze evenly, though all he wanted to do was screw club activities and have Kuroo come by his room just to hang all night. "And it's really nothing to worry about, I haven't been sleeping well lately."

"Oh? Nightmares?" Kuroo perked up immediately, anxiously wanting to hear more, to find something he might be able to do to help.

Kenma pouted but nodded.

"Are you stressed about anything? What do you dream about?"

Kenma took in Kuroo's grinning face and then looked away. "It's nothing. Forget I said anything."

A heavy sigh seemed to deflate Kuroo's entire being. "Listen Kenma, I…"

"What?" Kenma asked when Kuroo trailed off.

"Nothing, never mind. I have some errands to run for my folks before I go home, so I'll see you tomorrow, Kenma."

Taken aback by the strangely forced expression, Kenma found himself staring after Kuroo's retreating form, a heavy feeling like rocks sinking in a pond filling his chest. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had to walk home alone.

xXx

'What was that look Kuroo? What was it you wanted to say? What did you want to say wearing that strained expression?' Kenma thought as he drifted off, wondering in a sleepy, half-interested fashion—

And woke to find his skin covered with fur. He wasn't sure the extent of a cat's ability to express facial shows of discontent, but Kenma was fairly sure that anyone looking could see that he was immensely unamused. He was starting to get used to it, but that far from meant he liked it. To say he enjoyed these recurring dreams would be a gross misinterpretation of the situation. Still, he was getting to the point where before anything else he'd check his motor functions. One never really appreciated their ability to move until they found themselves unable to. The panic? Well that always came later.

This time he was in a park though, not some dingy back alley. That fact offered at least some comfort. The scent of freshly cut grass and lavender a drastic improvement from the pungent stench of rot and decay.

Kenma took a few exploratory steps, confidence rising as he got the hang of moving around on four legs again. A quick survey of the area roused a notion of familiarity. The scent of the meat and potato croquets from the Family Mart across the street and the buttery scent of freshly baked bread from the house-front bakery at the corner of the next block. This was his neighborhood. Surely if he walked south through the park and the housing on the other side he'd come across the riverside where he used to play with Kuroo when they were children… Which meant home was just a few minutes away.

Before he could think, he was walking, then running, then sprinting in the direction of his house. Paws padding against the concrete, the shock of impact with the pavement so unnatural to him, creaking in the legs of his small form. Skidding to a stop in front of the familiar beige two story house he called home, Kenma looked to his window on the second floor. If he could climb the tree in their front yard, he would be able to reach his window… theoretically speaking of course. Whether or not he'd actually be able to was something else entirely. He'd only just become comfortable running, and climbing didn't seem like it would be as easy as cats make it out to be.

He needed to see, though. Some morbid curiosity needed to see what was in that room. Was it him? Was he there slumbering away? Was it empty?

Steeling himself and planning a path of entry, Kenma took a running start at the tree, meaning to catch onto the side, but instead found himself crashing into the side of the tree and falling back to the ground – where he landed perfectly on all four feet. Shaking his head, and licking his right paw which had gotten a bit scraped from the tree bark, he sat back to revaluate the situation.

'So the claw thing isn't instinctual then…' Kenma thought looking down at his paws. He'd been banking on the claws to just come out when they were needed, but clearly it wasn't an automatic response. Concentrating hard, Kenma let out an annoyed mewl at being unable to. Another five minutes of trying and he was ready to give up. It just couldn't be worth the effort to see into his room, and he was probably going to wake up soon anyway and none of this would matter… though when he thought about it, this was the first time, he'd felt pain in his cat form. Usually in his dreams, even when torn to shreds by a feral dog, he hadn't felt anything but fear. But now, the throbbing pain in his paws felt very real.

'This isn't happening. This is just a dream. Just a dream!' Kenma thought slamming a paw down on the ground in frustration, surprised when his claws slid out. Blinking, Kenma lifted his paw to examine it.

'Flex muscles as if trying to make a fist,' Kenma thought, muscles tensing in his other paw, the claws popping out, another twitch of his muscles and back in they went. Internally squeeing at his success, he looked towards the tree again. This time for sure it would work. Running at the tree and launching himself at the trunk, he found himself hanging from the bark a couple feet off the ground. His hind legs scrabbled against the bark, trying to find purchase on the solid trunk to make it possible to climb higher as the lowest branch was still about a meter away.

'No, no, no!' Kenma thought as he felt himself slipping back down the trunk, claws carving their way down its length, a disgruntled whimper escaping him as his attempts at climbing higher found him instead back on the ground. Stubbornly running at the tree again, and again, Kenma somehow managed to clamber his way up to the first branch, and the second and then up to the one parallel to his window.

Lungs heaving from the exertion, Kenma leaned his head against the glass, reveling in the cool surface pressed up against his hot, fur covered body.

'Seriously, as if summer wasn't hot enough, without having to wear a fur coat.'

Once he'd caught his breath, Kenma peered into his room. His enhanced cat vision making it easy to discern shapes in the darkness. Much to his dismay, a sick feeling settled in the pit of his stomach as he looked at himself from outside his body.

'Please don't let this be real.'

He hadn't even been asleep this time, so how could he be dreaming?

'Unless I dozed off…'

If he took the cat's body over there to where his own body laid sleeping and jumped on its lap, would the contact break the spell that had caught him – shock him back into his own body? It had to be a spell, like in his games. The RPG magic-based fantasy ones. Some kind of warped reality where such things were real perhaps. Or the games… maybe they were just getting to his head. He'd been playing too many games and his imagination had just been running on overdrive. No matter what he told himself though, it was becoming harder to convince himself it was just a dream. A dream and nothing more.

Kenma sat there on his windowsill, staring at himself sleep for hours and nothing had changed. His mother had woken and gone out shopping, but he'd remained still, unmoving. The sun had risen to its highest peak and had already begun its decent for the day and still, nothing. Still stuck in the body of some damn cat. And of all the things he could have been thinking about, Kuroo was the only one on his mind. If he had told Kuroo about the dreams would he have really been able to help? It didn't seem likely, but Kuroo had asked again and again what was wrong, with that drawn, worried expression tight on his lips. Even if he couldn't have done anything, perhaps just telling Kuroo would have been a comfort in its own way.

'Kuroo~'

He wanted to see him. He wanted to lean against him and just stay there drinking in Kuroo's comforting presence. Why hadn't he just said something? Flustered Kenma stood from his perch making his way back onto the branch. Staying there was going to solve nothing if he couldn't even get inside the house. He didn't know what he was going to do, but since it didn't seem like he was going to be waking up anytime soon, he wanted to be away – anywhere but there – where he wouldn't have to see himself in such a pitiful state.

Kenma wandered aimlessly four hours. By the time he stopped to look around, it was already night and he'd found himself in a busier area of the city – lots of people and lots of cars. How he'd managed to find himself in such a place without noticing the blaring noises of the city, Kenma didn't know, but it was far too much for his sensitive ears. Noting a park across the street, he made to cross – the walk signal was counting down, but he could make it across in 12 seconds easy.

Stumbling a bit on a rough Manhole cover about halfway across, Kenma tried to straighten himself only to find his paw stuck in the grate. He tugged, pushing down with his right and pulling back for all he was worth with his left. Nothing. Dread fell like a rock in the pit of his stomach as he yanked and yanked to no avail. Mewling desperately as the cross walk timer blinked down…7…6…5…

Kenma's eyes widened, body frozen still in terror as the cars rumbled as if with bated breath to burst out once the light changed.

'Move!'

He didn't know what was worse, being mauled by a dog or run over by a car. Seemed like they'd both be quite painful, but given the fact that the time he'd been assailed by that Rottweiler he hadn't felt anything, and now that he could acutely feel everything he was about to become a smear of red on the pavement somewhere.

'Move damnit!'

The fatigue in his weary body, the ache in his paws and the sting of the chafed skin around where he'd been trying to yank his paw free from the metal prison. The crossing timer at…3…2…

'Kuroo!'

Clenching his eyes shut, he would have cried had he been physically capable in this form. Instead of his bones crushing as a metal fender slammed into him though, he heard screeching and cursing and honking and warm hands cradling him against something solid. Something with a steady pulse and a scent so comforting. So familiar. Then a voice.

"Calm the fuck down. Is it going to kill you to be a little late to wherever the hell it is you're going? Geeze what an asshole."

Kenma opened his eyes to find his saviour to be Kuroo. Of course Kuroo would be bold enough to walk out into the street despite a moron trying to race through the intersection the second the light had changed, anything in his way be dammed.

"Kuroo~" Kenma was beside himself with relief, but his voice came out in a plaintive whimper.

"It's okay now, you're okay now," Kuroo grinned, carrying Kenma out of the street and casting a final glare in the direction of the moron in the Volvo. "You got a home to go back to? You don't have a collar."

"Kuroo, it's me Kenma."

"I don't speak cat, but that sounded pretty darn sad," Kuroo said as Kenma nuzzled against Kuroo's large hands, rough pink tongue licking affectionately at his knuckles. "Haha, like me or something?"

"You have no idea, you idiot."

"Well if you're okay with it, you can stay with me."

Kenma was beyond thankful that Kuroo hadn't just set him down on the sidewalk. He was so rattled, he honestly didn't think he'd be able to stand on his own at the moment. So relieved and thankful, Kenma couldn't help the urge to nuzzle, rubbing his cheek against Kuroo's arm in closed-eyed contentment.

"Shit, you're pretty affectionate for a stray, you sure you don't have a home to go back to?"

Large amber eyes blinked at Kuroo.

"Damn, you're so fucking cute!"

Kenma purred as Kuroo idly stroked his fingers through his fur. He missed this, sure Kuroo never really pet him, but the casual one-armed hugs and the mischievous but clearly affectionate hair ruffling were things he wished Kuroo hadn't stopped. But why had he, really?

"We're almost there."

Kenma glanced around, noting the familiar streets and people heading home late from work and it occurred to him that Kuroo had been out pretty late for a school night. It wasn't unheard of, but aside from being at his place, Kuroo never stayed out late when there was morning practice. Could it have had anything to do with the errands he said he had to run? Kenma really wanted to ask, but it wasn't like he'd be understood in his cat shaped prison.

"We're here!" Kuroo grinned pausing in front of his house for Kenma to take a look. The grin faded as he set his hand on the front gate to open it.

"What is it Kuroo?" Kenma pawed gently at Kuroo's cheek.

"Haha sorry, did I look upset? I was just wondering if Kenma's up," Kuroo mused aloud, a hollow sort of dullness in his yellow ocher eyes. "Oh, that's my friend by the way. He's pretty darn cute too. I think he'd like you. He's not all that interested in a lot of things, but he seems to have a soft spot for small cute things… like that little fireball at Karasuno… it's good that Kenma's getting along with other people, but damn it makes me jealous. I want him all to myself, you know?"

'Kuroo~'

"Yeah, human problems probably don't make any sense to yo- This is stupid, you need a name. Can't keep calling you "you." Have any preferences?" Kuroo asked as he made his way into the house, calling out a habitual and highly unenthused "I'm home," before heading up to his room.

'I'm sure anything will be fine, it's not like I plan to stay like this.'

"This might sound a bit weird, but if you don't mind I'd like to call you Kenko."

Kenma cocked his head to the side in question as Kuroo set him down on the floor.

"Your fur reminds me of my friend, black and blonde, and your eyes too… his name is Kozume Kenma. But it wouldn't be written with the same ko an d ken as him. You're your own person after all… well not person, but you know what I mean. It would look like this," Kuroo said grabbing a pen from his desk and sketching down the characters on a slip of paper. "It's written with the ken from kaerimiru which means to regard affectionately, and ko from kaiko, to turn around or look back at."

Kenma was surprised. Did Kuroo always think this way? It sure didn't seem like it.

"Don't like it?" Kuroo frowned.

"No, it's fine. I like it."

Kenma stood walking over to Kuroo and brushing up against his leg, purring his satisfaction. He'd really rather being called by his own name, but the name was thoughtful and the meanings was kind.

"So it's okay then? Haha good. So until you get tired of me, you're welcome to stay here Kenko."

"Merow!"

A grin split Kuroo's face as he sat on the edge of his bed, patting his lap in invitation, to which Kenma gladly responded by hopping up and settling there, tail swishing languidly from side to side.

'So comfortable~' Kenma thought eyelids dropping.

A buzz from Kuroo's cell phone caught Kenma by surprise when his friend carefully, but frantically set him to the side, running over to snatch the phone up from his desk where it lay charging.

"Just Yaku," Kuroo exhaled a disappointed sigh, slumping bonelessly back onto the bed, frowning at his otherwise still empty inbox. "Jeeze, Kenma hasn't answered any of my texts. What do you think Kenko? Should I head over there to check on him? It's pretty late but…I want to see him…"

Kenma felt his heart clench, he didn't want Kuroo to go over and see him in his current state, couldn't stand the thought of Kuroo being hurt by the knowledge that something happened and he could do nothing to help. It had surprised him to see that panicky, almost desperate look in Kuroo's eyes when he jumped up for the phone. Kuroo must have thought he did want to see him or something. Kenma pattered over to Kuroo, pawing lightly at his cheek.

"Don't go Kuroo."

Naturally the sound came out as a mewl, not words, but Kenma hoped Kuroo would somehow understand.

"What's with that look? You don't want to meet him? He's really nice."

"Please Kuroo, don't go."

Kuroo pet Kenma gently, rubbing behind his ears.

"It's not that you don't want to go, it's that you don't want me to go, is that right Kenko?"

Kenma had no idea how the hell Kuroo could possibly understand that, but he was thankful that he did.

"That's right, don't go."

"Sorry Kenko, I have to go. Kenma's been acting oddly lately and I'm worried. I don't know why you don't want me to go over there, but I'll be back soon."

"No! I'll go! I'll go!" Kenma protested, jumping up on Kuroo's chest, looking at him seriously. "I can't let you go over there by yourself."

"Thanks," Kuroo smiled, cradling Kenma against him as he sat up and moved to the edge of the bed. "I'm glad for the company."

xXx

Kuroo frowned when he arrived to find the house in complete darkness and the Kozume's car not in the driveway. Neither of his parents drove to work, so the car was usually always parked. Kuroo rapped lightly on the door at first, feeling guilty for knocking so late if they were in fact home and had already gone to bed. A harder knock when the first elicited no response, but still no one answered the door. Even if his folks were asleep, Kenma was always up late playing his videogames. Kuroo glanced down at his phone again. Still nothing. He knocked again, back tracking a bit to glance up at Kenma's window. The curtains were open but no sign of movement from where he stood.

"Let's go back. Mom probably took me to the hospital when I missed dinner last night and didn't wake up this morning."

"No one's home," Kuroo mumbled hugging Kenma tighter in concern.

"Come on Kuroo, let's go back."

"I'll wait until they get back…"

"That's just stupid Kuroo, why would you even go so far for me anyway?"

"Sorry Kenko, I have a really bad feeling and I need to see him. I need to make sure he's okay."

'Kuroo~

The feeling of dread just wouldn't abate. He couldn't bring himself to leave before he got some answers. Until he'd seen Kenma.

'Why Kuroo?'

xXx

"Tetsurou-kun."

Kuroo looked up, not having realized he'd dozed off right there on the Kozume's front step. It was already morning, the clouds alight with their shaded sun, peach and pink bellied nimbus foretelling of coming storms.

"Mrs. Kozume, where's Kenma?"

Her warm honey gold eyes, so similar to Kenma's, saddened. "Sorry Tetsurou-kun, Kenma's not here."

"Where is he?"

An infernally fatigued sigh slipping past her lips. "He's in the hospital."

Kuroo's expression fell.

"W-wha…" Kuroo couldn't even speak.

"The doctor's don't know. He just won't wake up. Don't make that expression dear, we just have to wait. I'm sure he'll be fine."

Kuroo didn't know what kind of expression he was wearing to have made Mrs. Kozume say that, but by the sandpaper tongue licking consolingly at his cheek, and the somber mewling of the cat in his arms, he figured it must've been something impressively distressed.

"Do you believe that?"

He regretted the words before they'd even fully left his mouth, but he couldn't hold them back. He didn't know what had prompted the words besides a desperate need for assurance. He should have been positive, should have tried to reassure Mrs. Kozume. She was the one that needed support now, not him.

"I have to dear."

A strained, sullen smile tugged at her lips – a show of motherly comfort.

"I'm sorry," Kuroo said. "I-I'm sure Kenma will be okay. He has to because we're all waiting for him."

Tears built in her eyes, rolling thick and hot down her cheeks.

"Ah, oh my. I'm sorry dear, I- I'm quite tired. I think I'll just head in now."

"Yes, of course."

'Mom…'

"That's a very cute cat," Mrs. Kozume said rubbing Kenma's chin.

He purred, nuzzling into her hand.

"I'm fine mom. I'll figure something out."

Kenma had no idea if he actually could, but for his mom's sake, and for Kuroo, not returning to his body just simply wasn't an option.

xXx

It was insane. He had no idea what the hell he was doing. He just knew that he couldn't see that look on Kuroo's face for another second. After having spoken to his mother, Kuroo had headed back solemnly, uncaring to the rain that had begun to fall, his hold on the cat unnecessarily tight. No amount of mewled apologies could express the despairing feelings Kenma felt yearning for voice to speak and hands to touch – to comfort. So he'd run. Which brought him here, 333 meters above ground, staring out at the city from atop Tokyo Tower about to do possibly the stupidest thing he'd ever done in his life.

He tottered at the precipice. The world spread out below him like a basin. The air smelling thick of city rain, a rain unlike that which is found in the mountains of Okutama just an hour's train ride out of Tokyo's city center, distinct in its acrid copper iron undertones. A strangled mewl. Inertia. Then falling. Falling. Falling. Dread. Stomach lurching. Air in abundant supply, but breath short. Body contorting. Head over foot over body. Sky, ground, sky, ground, sky. Body contorting. A sea of pitch asphalt expanding, as if rising to meet him. And—

xXx

He woke with a gasp, the annoying beeping of an ECG monitor blaring in his ears as he bolted up, taking in his surroundings with unfocused eyes. A clock on the wall reading 3:33am. A doctor in powder blue scrubs and nurses in an array of colorful print-patterned scrubs. He didn't care about any of them, he just needed to get to Kuroo. Shrugging off the hands checking him, and ignoring the voices asking him numerous questions – some he caught that didn't even make sense. What did his bowel movements have to do with having been unconscious with his soul gallivanting around the city in a cat's body? A cat he owed a sincere apology at that. Sure cats were pretty darn sturdy, being known to survive collapsing buildings and falling from skyscrapers, but that didn't mean they weren't terrified by the prospect of dying. He'd felt the warning bells going off like a siren in his head.

"Move! I have to go!"

Kenma's father who had been waiting by all night after convincing his wife to go get some rest at home, was shocked beyond words to hear his son yell so loudly.

"I'm fine! Let me go! I have somewhere I need to be right now!"

"Kenma?"

"Dad, please."

"Ah, it's okay, let him go," Mr. Kozume said to the medical staff trying to get Kenma to lie back down.

"Thanks dad! I'll come back soon."

Mr. Kozume watched, a burgeoning feeling of pride at the conviction in his son's voice as he tugged on his pants and shirt from atop the table by the window and stepped into his shoes, pulling them on properly as he ran out of the room.

xXx

'Come on Kuroo, pick up! Pick up! Pick up your damn phone!'

Shoving his phone back in his pocket, Kenma directed his anxious gaze to the city passing by the train's glass window, while fidgeting with the hem of his clothes impatiently. One more stop.

Before the doors had even fully opened, Kenma had slipped through and was off running again. Out of the station, down the street, past familiar places as he slowed to a stop in front of Kuroo's house. Passing the gate and forgetting all about the time, Kenma knocked on the door.

"Ku- Tetsurou! Tetsurou!"

The door opened a few moments later, Kuroo's father looking at Kenma with sleep dazed eyes. "Kenma-kun?"

"Sorry Mr. Kuroo, I-"

"Kenma?"

Kenma glanced past Kuroo's dad to where Kuroo was standing, halfway down the stairs, eyes wide when he'd confirmed it was indeed Kenma's voice he'd heard from upstairs. Skipping the last couple steps Kuroo raced over to Kenma, his dad stepping aside.

"What the hell Kenma? You're supposed to be in the hospital!"

"I know and I have to get back soon. I ran out."

"You did what?"

If he hadn't been so on edge, Kenma might have found the expression comical. The wide, disapproving eyes, and the tightness he perceived in Kuroo's jaw and posture at the knowledge.

"I had to see you and you weren't picking up your damn phone!"

"My phone? It's not even 5am, it's not like I'm sitting around waiting for a call at this hou- K-kenma?" Kuroo squeaked in embarrassed surprise as an adorably pouting Kenma hugged him. "What's up with you? You never want to touch anyone during the summer."

"Idiot, if it's you I never want you to stop."

"Oh my," Kuroo's mother gasped, resting a hand on her husband's arm. "Come dear, it's best we make ourselves scarce."

"What? But why?"

"Just shut up and come with me," she huffed pulling him off with her. "It's good to see you again Kenma dear, do come in properly and close the door."

"Ah y-yes Mrs. Kuroo," Kenma's cheeks tinted pink as he realized he'd just brazenly jumped Kuroo in front of his parents. Releasing Kuroo, Kenma stepped through the threshold of the door properly, pulling the door closed behind him.

"Now, want to tell me what all that was abou-" Kuroo's voice caught in his throat as soft lips met his. A brief, chaste expression of affection.

"I love you Ku- Tetsurou."

Kuroo blinked, uncomprehending. "I'm sorry, I think I might still be asleep, because I thought you said that you love me."

"I do."

"You do?"

"I do."

A dark flush reddened Kuroo's ears and neck. He'd never thought he'd hear those words from Kenma. Never even imagined it was possible for his childhood friend to return the feelings he'd resolved to bury before they could ruin his relationship with Kenma. So long as he was by his side… So long as he was always there it was fine.

Kuroo's expression hardened in thought. "For how long?"

"Always, but I didn't realize it until recently when you started pulling away from me. It hurt a lot, you know? I want you to wake me up in the mornings, I want to walk back from practice together like before and I want so much more," Kenma said decisively, though his skin was tinted the shade of his discomfort.

"Shit, if that's the case then why the fuck have I been holding back for?"

"Who told you to hold back? Because it sure as hell wasn't me," Kenma frowned, the irritation clear in the crease of his brows and his taught lips.

"Well it's not like I wanted to, but it was getting pretty damn hard to keep a friend level distance with you. I kept wanting more and more. And sometimes you'd be bothered but you'd never tell me no. And then I'm holding you or playing around and you know it's borderline harassment if you don't actually want it."

"You're an idiot. A complete idiot. I'm bothered because it's embarrassing. If I didn't want you touching me, I'd have just hit you."

"How the heck was I supposed to know that?"

"You can understand everything else, you're like the freaking cat whisperer and you can't understand something as simple as me being lonely because you're not around as much?"

"Cat what?"

"Never mind, I'll explain later. By now dad's probably called mom and I need to tell her I'm okay."

"Wait, you haven't called your mom yet?"

"I needed to see you first. Which I have. So I'm going to go now. I'll call you later," Kenma said turning to the door.

"Yeah… Ah wait Kenma!"

"What?" Hand stilled on the doorknob, Kenma glanced over his shoulder.

"I want a proper one."

"Proper one wha- mph," Kenma startled as he was spun around and caught up in a deeply impassioned kiss. Kuroo's right hand cradling the back of his neck. Kenma hummed in pleasure, eyes fluttering closed as he reveled in the sensation. When Kuroo pulled away, Kenma was breathless. One more chaste kiss pressed to the crown of his head and Kuroo met Kenma's gaze.

"I love you too."

Kenma beamed. It wasn't that happy face he had reserved for his games and Karasuno's #10, but a legit close-eyed grin that openly expressed his delight. Something that Kuroo had never seen before, that warmed him through completely. That smile…

"Kenma!" Kuroo called after the distancing form, which paused and glanced back. "Don't you dare smile like that for anyone but me!"

Kenma's eyes sparkled in the dawn light, unable to contain his joy.

The soul wanders. It seeks blind in the darkness until it chances upon love. And so, wherever our love goes, there too will we find our soul.

~TBC~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry for the super weirdness, if you made it all the way down here, I hope you enjoyed it! This is my fourth installment for #kurokenmonth on tumblr. And you might have noticed the TBC at the end, so yeah, I'm not quite done with it yet. I'll probably have the second part up tomorrow to tie up some loose ends. Some fun times with our MIA kitty Kenko, and Kuroo and Kenma's parents having "the talk" with them about their relationship, and I'll round it all out with some shameless smut ;) So if you're into that, please do look out for it. And after that will be the next theme, which is secrets. 
> 
> As always thanks for your time, all comments are very much welcomed and appreciated :)


	2. Loose Ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (picks up immediately where chapter 1 ended)

"Tetsurou, quite down. You'll disturb the neighbors," Kuroo's mother scolded as she came to stand beside her son at the door.

"Ah, sorry," Kuroo looked down sheepishly.

"Now, about Kenma-kun…"

Kuroo stiffened. He'd known this was coming, after all Kenma had just confessed his love in the middle of their front hall. Hell they'd even kissed right there. And Kuroo wasn't naïve enough to think that just because his parents weren't in the room, they weren't listening or something.

"Come along, we're going to have a nice long chat about this," Kuroo's mom said gesturing Kuroo away from the door to close it.

"But-"

"No but's, your father is over there pouting because he didn't notice anything."

"Wait, you knew?"

"Of course I knew Tetsurou dear, I'm your mother. It's my job to know these things. And you've been friends with that boy since this side of forever, making those adoring googly eyes at him. Heavens knows how you haven't managed to hook up yet. I don't know where you get that wishy-washy attitude from, it most certainly wasn't from me."

Dumbfounded. It was the only word that seemed fitting as Kuroo followed his mother into the dining room, where his father was sitting at the table, head in his hands as if he'd just been fired. But it could have just as well have been the distressed look from finding out his son was in a relationship with another guy – that generally causes most parents at least some consternation.

"Dad?"

Kuroo's dad looked up as his wife and son entered the room, lips drawn taught and brows furrowed.

"You're so mean Tetsurou! You don't tell me anything, and here I was being the only one who didn't know."

Kuroo's mother sighed as she took a seat across from her husband, gesturing for Kuroo to follow suit, but Kuroo just stood there, brain uncomprehending of what his father had just said.

"Sorry, I think I missed what you're actually mad about."

Kuroo's dad frowned looking away.

"It's not because I like Kenma?"

"Why would it be because you like Kenma-kun? I'll admit I was surprised, but Kenma-kun's a sweet kid, I have no complaints about your choice."

"Then what is it you're mad about?"

"That you didn't tell me! I'm your dad, and you never even came to me for advice once. Hey dad see there's this person I like… what should I do? Or hey dad, got a minute? There's this friend that I kind of like more than a friend but I don't want to ruin the relationship that we have now… You know? Or you'd give me a hypothetical situation, but we'd both know you were talking about yourself and then I'd get to say something cool."

'Something's definitely not right about this situation,' Kuroo thought as his father complained about having missed a real father-son bonding moment.

"I'm sorry."

"Are you really?"

"No."

"Okay, that's quite enough of that," Kuroo's mom interjected. "Now that we all know what the real problem is, let's move on. Tetsurou."

"Yes?"

"We love you very much, no matter who it is you decide to spend your life with. We just want to make sure that this is in fact what you want. Feelings aside, because it's obvious how much you adore Kenma-kun… Well obvious to some people," she pointedly cast a side glance at her husband before continuing. "You realize that not everyone will be as open to your relationship as we are. I suspect Kenma's parents will be understanding, but you could potentially be facing some pretty negative reactions. Are you prepared for that?"

"Yes, whatever the reaction, this is what I've chosen. Me and Kenma both, so I'll stand by him."

"That's my boy!" Kuroo's dad said beaming with pride.

"Shut up dear, you're not helping."

"Now the second thing I wanted to address is your future. Have you thought about your future at all? Kenma-kun aside, after graduation what are your plans?"

"I'll continue playing volleyball in college. And I've been looking into programs for sports medicine. Even I know that being a pro volleyball player isn't a given no matter how good you are, but I can't see myself in an office job. There's some good kinesiology programs at Meiji and Toudai and their volleyball teams are top class."

"And Kenma-kun? Do you know what he plans to do? It'll be another year before he's out of high school, but if say he decides to go abroad to study, or if by then you do, are you confident your relationship won't suffer for it?"

"I don't know. Kenma doesn't talk about the future so I don't really know what he wants to do. But I've waited four years for him already, so I'm pretty sure I can wait as long as I need to if the situation demands it. And Kenma… Kenma's never been so bold before in all the years I've known him. I don't even think I've ever heard him yelling like that before. So if he feels that strongly about me now, I'd like to think that he won't just decide I'm no longer worth it."

"Okay, now about kids."

Kuroo stiffened.

"You'll never be able to have your own kids if you're together. Adoption is an option if you so choose, but there's something special about making a family with someone that you will be forfeiting in this relationship. Are you okay with that? Have you even given it any thought?"

"No, I haven't thought about it. But I love Kenma. Kids... kids are nice but they grow up and they leave. Kenma's always going to be by my side, so if I had to choose, it would be Kenma every time."

"Alright and my last question."

"Yeah?"

"Why was there cat hair on the sofa?"

"On the couch?"

"Yes, I meant to ask you last night, but you were already in your room. The window in the living room was open and there was cat hair on the sofa."

"Oh, you see I kind of picked up a stray the other day, but it seems like he snuck out when I was sleeping."

"Well if it does come back-"

"He."

"Well if he does come back, then you'll have to take proper care of him, and don't you dare let him on my sofa again."

"Yes mom."

"Good. Dear did you have anything you wanted to ask?"

"Have you thought about how you two are going to have sex yet?"

Silence. Kuroo blanched.

"Your father raises a good point, have you?"

"I don't really want to talk about that."

"Fine. I don't have to be here when you do if it makes you uncomfortable. But sometime in the next couple of days, you two have to sit down and have a talk. Dear?"

"Yes, leave it to me," Kuroo's dad grinned, perhaps looking forward to the father-son milestone of life time more than was necessary. Kuroo on the other hand was dreading the encounter.

xXx

The conclusion that Kenma had come to when he'd entered Kuroo's room after having properly been discharged from the hospital to find Kenko lying on his back purring as Kuroo rubbed his stomach, was that cats are capable of some pretty amazing things. The common saying is that a cat has nine lives, but the myth had only come about because of some weird British proverb: A cat has nine lives. For three he plays, for three he strays and for the last three he stays. What it meant was that in general cats are most affectionate when they're old and have gotten the playing and straying out of his system or something thereabouts. But short of actually having nine lives, Kenma was sure there was no possible way Kenko should have survived that fall.

"Oh, Kenma! Come over here, I want you to meet my cat."

"So, he came back then?"

"What's that?"

"Kenko."

Kuroo blinked. "How the heck could you possibly know that?"

"It's a long story."

"I have time."

"It's not important, but I'm glad to see he's alright."

"Well whatever, I'm all ears if you ever want to share."

"Merow~"

Kenko hopped from Kuroo's lap, soft paws padding across the floor to Kenma, who bent down to pick him up.

"Sorry about last time," Kenma whispered, a relieved smile ghosting across his face as he felt that sandpaper tongue flicking over his cheek.

"Look this way for a second."

Kenma glanced up, Kenko craning his neck towards the sound of Kuroo's voice, both grimacing and blinking rapidly at the splotches of light and dark dancing in their vision from the flash of Kuroo's phone.

"Thanks."

"What the heck, Kuroo?"

"You guys are so cute, I want to make it my home screen."

Kenma's gaze narrowed, brow twitching in annoyance.

"Haha, sorry. So how'd it go at the hospital?" Kuroo asked walking over and drawing Kenma into a light embrace, Kenko jumping off to the side so as not to get caught up in it.

"Mmm, everything's fine. Doctor's couldn't find anything wrong with me," Kenma hummed in pleasure as he nuzzled against Kuroo. "Though my mom demanded to know what was so important that I would go running off without evening telling her that I'm alright. So I told her."

"You told her what?"

"That we're dating now."

"You did?"

"Yeah, I thought it would be best that they find out from me, before your parents called or something."

"Well yeah, that was probably the right move. So how did she take it?"

"She smacked me upside the head and told me that something like that could have waited until after the doctor's gave me a checkup to make sure I was alright."

"Well she's not wrong, but that's it?"

"Yeah."

"And your dad?"

"He didn't say anything."

"What does that mean?"

"That he's okay with it."

"Are you sure?"

"No, he's going to come at you with a shotgun and tell you to get the hell away from me."

The color drained from Kuroo's face.

"I'm joking, Tetsurou. I said he's okay with it."

"But if he didn't say anything, how do you know?"

"Because dad would have said something if he didn't approve."

"So what now?"

"I have the boss fight left to clear the last level of my game," Kenma said pulling his PSP from his pocket. "Want to watch?"

Kuroo smirked, of course things wouldn't go from causal to sexy immediately just because they were dating. It was actually endearing to him, that Kenma seemed so relaxed about their relationship. Still he kind of wished Kenma was a bit more flustered. Wanted to touch or cuddle more. Moving so that his back was to the side of his bed, Kuroo sat on the ground, idly noting that Kenko was making himself comfortable on the swivel chair in front of his desk.

"So which game is-" Kuroo's voice died in his throat as Kenma sat in the space between Kuroo's bent legs, scooching so his back leaned flush against Kuroo's front, and game poised in his hands propped up on his knees.

"Can you see okay?"

"Kenma, this…"

"Problem?" Kenma tilted his head back to meet Kuroo's gaze innocently, though his eyes gleamed with something daringly mischievous, as if challenging Kuroo to do something.

"No~"

"Good, because I'm sure you wouldn't be thinking I'm making a move on you while your parents are right downstairs."

"Of course not," Kuroo grinned, the suggestion was an enticing one, but he wasn't nearly bold enough to go at it with his parents in the house, especially before his father had given him the talk. He didn't' want to hear it, but he was sure he'd get into deep shit if he neglected his parents' wishes in this matter.

"His HP is 10k, the last boss was only 8k so I'm not sure what to expect. So don't distract me when I start okay, Tetsurou."

"Yeah, of course," Kuroo said, reaching around to pause Kenma's little avatar on the screen. "So kiss me before you start?"

Golden eyes glimmered with want, as Kenma set the game down on the floor, shifting to his knees and turning to face Kuroo. That sly sexy smirk, melted him, as he cupped Kuroo's cheeks in his hands and leaned in to capture his lips.

"Mmm," a rumble of desire as Kuroo's hand fell to Kenma's hips, pulling him closer as lips moved hungrily against lips. When Kenma pulled back, Kuroo groaned at the loss.

"If I win, you have to congratulate me properly," Kenma said ears tinting pink as he turned, settling back against Kuroo and picking his game back up. Kuroo grinned eagerly at the prospect, arms wrapping around Kenma's waist and chin resting on his shoulder.

xXx

"Now Tetsurou, your mother said to make sure I give these to you."

Kuroo looked at the box his father had just handed him and chocked upon realization of what it was. A talk was one thing, but getting a box of condoms from his father hadn't been on his list of things to expect for the day – though given the way their conversation had gone the last time, it probably shouldn't have been such a surprise.

"T-t-this is-"

"Now I can't claim to be knowledgeable about sex between two men, and you don't have to worry about accidentally having children, but anal is anal. The anus doesn't self-lubricate like a vagina, so you have to make sure and lube him up properly. We were talking with Kenma-kun's parents and they're giving him lube, so I didn't buy any. But back to the condoms, wear them or not, that's up to you and Kenma-kun, but lots of people don't really like the feeling of having semen in their rectum, and he'll probably have to scoop it out afterwards if you do it bareback."

Kuroo was so hot with embarrassment that he could have sworn his head was steaming. His gaze strayed to where Kenko was strolling by, proudly displaying the collar his mother had put on him earlier that morning. His father's voice dragging his straying concentration back to the conversation at hand.

"You're also going to have to stretch him properly before you start. Don't go immediately sticking your penis in him or you're going to hurt him. You might want to get him to orgasm once before moving on to penetration, so he'll at least be a bit more relaxed."

"D-do you really have to be telling me all this?" After grudgingly watching Kenma go the night before, all hot and bothered from the voraciously exciting makeout session he'd jerked off in the shower, and he'd woken up in the morning with a wet stain on the front of his boxers after a ridiculously vivid porn quality dream. He was anticipating their first time with every fiber of his being, but he wasn't so inconsiderately stupid to have not looked up safe anal preparation on the internet. Hurting Kenma because of ignorance was nowhere in his plans. He didn't need to hear about stretching from his dad.

"Sorry Tetsurou, your mother's orders that I don't leave anything out. We're just trying to be supportive."

"Too supportive. Way too supportive!"

"Well that's probably true, I would have been pissed off in my old man sat me down to have this kind of conversation, then again, his idea of the talk was, if you're going to do it, make sure you love her and more importantly that she loves you, and if you're going to do it for pleasure not for function, then make sure you wear a damn condom."

"Yeah, that would have been enough."

"He also said to make sure you stick it in the right hole, but you don't have that problem. So, since the situation is a bit different, you just have to suck it up and sit there until I'm done. Which I almost am."

"What else is there?"

"You need to pay attention to your partner, especially after you've already entered him. If you lose yourself from the sensation of being in him, and stop paying attention, you could hurt him without intending to."

"I know that."

"Good. Well that's all. So have fun, and don't do it anywhere you can get caught – unless you get off on that kind of thing – but still, sex in public places is illegal so try not to do anything to make your mother mad."

Kuroo raised a brow, sure he'd regret it, but decided to ask anyway. "Why would you even think we'd have sex in public?"

"Kenma-kun's surprisingly forward, so I can see you two getting carried away and going at it without thinking about your surroundings."

"I'll thank you not to imagine me and Kenma doing anything of the sort," Kuroo deadpanned.

xXx

"You may be wondering why I'm having this conversation with you and not your father, and the simple answer to that is that he almost passed out from embarrassment making a checklist of things to make sure he addressed."

Kenma nodded, staring ahead blankly as his mother began to speak. He didn't know how he'd ended up in this situation. His parents had been pretty chill about the dating a guy thing when he'd first told them so. Then when he'd gotten home from Kuroo's the first thing out of his mother's mouth had been: you didn't do it yet, did you? No. Okay good. We have to have a talk before you do. Kenma had almost passed out in shock as the blood rushed to his head.

"So first of all is this. I wasn't sure which one would be better, so I bought the standard kind, the warming kind, and this one that smelled like chocolate. The lady at the store said it was flavored and was pretty popular."

Golden eyes glazed over as they stared at the array of bottles laid out before him on the table. Stuck on the fact that his mother had gone into the store to buy this and didn't seem the slightest bit phased by it.

"You're the bottom aren't you honey?"

Kenma nodded, his voice having retreated somewhere along with his cognitive reasoning functions.

"So you're going to want to do regular enemas to keep yourself clean. I bought an enema kit for you," she said placing it on the table next to the bottles of lube with the picture instructions on the back facing up. "The instructions are pretty clear, but if you need help the first time you can ask your father... or me. I know asking your mother about it might be embarrassing, but I've washed and cleaned you so many times when you were a child that this really wouldn't be a problem for me, your father on the other hand might cry."

"I think I can manage myself," Kenma squeaked, banishing the thought of having to ask his parents to help him make preparations for sex. Not to mention how awkward it would be to have anyone around to listen to the lewd sounds of him expelling the enema fluid.

"Okay. And the last thing I wanted to mention was when you're going to have sex, make sure he stretches you properly and use a lot of the lube, it wouldn't be good if you ripped or damaged anything dear. My advice would be to perhaps prep yourself beforehand to make it easier on the both of you. A little stretching in the shower would probably suffice."

And that was it. Kenma blew a fuse, face down to his neck as red as a beet, and eyes dazed and unfocused. Something was fundamentally wrong with a world in which a guy was having a conversation with his mother about stretching his anus in the shower for sex with his boyfriend.

xXx

"Sorry for the intrusion," Kenma said as Kuroo's mom opened the door, dressed in an elegant mauve evening gown.

"Oh not at all dear, we're going out for a dinner with some friends and won't be back until late so do enjoy yourself."

"Un…" Kenma averted his gaze at the perceived insinuation.

"Evening Kenma-kun," Kuroo's dad walked out from the living room while straightening his tie.

"Hello Mr. Kuroo."

Kuroo's dad looked around and frowned. "Feel free to hit that idiot son of mine for not meeting you at the door."

"That's not really necessary."

"If you say so, but a man ought to be a bit more courteous to his date even if it is a night in sort of affair."

Kenma blinked and nodded. Kuroo had told him his parents were cool with it, but it still seemed strange for them to treat it so casually.

"Are you staying tonight?"

"Ah, yes…"

"I forgot to say so to Tetsurou, but since it's the first time, you should probably only do it once. Then again you're both young so- Oww!"

"Sorry Kenma dear, do ignore him," Mrs. Kuroo said smiling sweetly before turning a sharp disproving gaze towards her husband who she'd elbowed to shut up.

"…U-un," Kenma grunted in acknowledgement.

"Alright, let's go dear. Have a good night Kenma dear."

"You as well Mrs. Kuroo."

Once the two had left, Kuroo's mom berating her husband for his tactlessness just outside the door, Kenma's expression softened. Kuroo's family were really kind. Turning his attention to the stairs he headed up to Kuroo's room.

"Oh Kenma, hey! You're early," Kuroo grinned standing to greet Kenma only for the bleach blonde to kick him in the shin and walk straight past to the bed.

"Ow, what the fuck?" Kuroo hissed, rubbing his shin.

"You jerk, you have any idea how awkward it was being met at the door by your parents when they know we're going to have sex?"

Kuroo's eyes widened, brows creasing apologetically. "Sorry."

A long sigh heaved and dissipated from Kenma's lips, exhaling all the air in his lungs before breathing in again.

"You okay?" Kuroo asked as Kenma flopped face first into the sheets, jostling Kenko who'd been resting on the pillows at the head of the bed.

"Sorry, seeing your parents just now, and earlier having my mom talk to me about lube and stretching was a bit of a shock, I'm still recovering."

"Yeah, my da- wait your mom gave you the talk?"

"Yeah, apparently dad just couldn't do it."

"I have a whole new respect for Mrs. Kozume," Kuroo said impressed, sitting on the edge of the bed and rubbing Kenma's calf comfortingly.

"Yeah, she's hard as nails. Didn't even blush once."

"Haha, now I know where you get that spark of boldness from."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kenma asked turning just enough for his eyes to meet Kuroo's.

"Just that, I never thought you'd confess to me, or be the first to initiate a kiss."

"It's not like I had a choice. If I didn't I'd still be waiting for you to grow a pair and do something," Kenma huffed indignantly.

Yellow ocher eyes narrowed as a grin turned up the corners of Kuroo's lips. Fingers wrapping around Kenma's ankle and dragging him closer, shirt riding up with the movement.

"What the hell Tetsurou?" Kenma asked rolling onto his back just as Kuroo crawled over to cage him against the mattress – knees on either sides of his hips, hands planted next to his ears.

Kuroo leaned in stealing a quick kiss from pouting lips before whispering lustily against Kenma's ear, "I'm growing a pair and doing something."

Kenma shivered at the low husky tone caressing his ear and warming over his neck. Before he had a chance to ponder over what exactly Kuroo was planning behind those deviously gleaming eyes, lips captured his again.

"Mmm," Kenma hummed as he bucked his hips to brush against the straining bulge in Kuroo's pants. Kuroo grunted, crushing his hips down just as Kenma retreated.

"Ungh!" Kenma gasped as the delicious pressure.

"Ne Kuroo, can we skip this part?"

"Hmm? What part is that exactly?"

"The foreplay. I just really want you now."

"I haven't even begun to prepare you yet," Kuroo said in surprise.

"I…before this..." Kenma averted his gaze. "Before this I prepped myself a bit, so I was kind of turned on already…"

Kurooo blinked, mind running away with him, images of Kenma lying back on his bed, his own fingers up his ass, an instant turn on.

"What the hell are you imagining?" Kenma frowned.

"You can't tell me something like that and not expect me to think about it," Kuroo growled predatorily. "I get you might already be on edge, hell I am too, I've been imagining taking you since you said you loved me, and having wet dreams about you since way before that, so I know want. Don't think I don't. But being our first time and all, we have to do this properly."

"Bu-"

"I won't take the chance I might hurt you," Kuroo said firmly, offering no room for compromise. "Understand?"

Kenma nodded mutely, a pout affixed to his face though he was inwardly squeeing, arousal stirring in his blood at the unyielding assertion.

"Good. Now where were we?" Oh yeah I think I was just about to start stripping you. Or would you rather give me a show?" Kuroo grinned teasingly.

"Not a chance," Kenma stuck his tongue out petulantly.

"Haha didn't think so. Can't blame a guy for asking though," Kuroo smirked as he slid his hands up under Kenma's shirt, skimming over a taut midsection before rolling it up and off, Kenma lifting his arms in compliance to allow Kuroo to remove this shirt.

"God you're beautiful."

"Shut up, you see me without my shirt after practice all the time."

"And I always think so, but it's not like I can stand there and appreciate the view. You'd have gotten pissed off at me for staring."

"It's good you understand that," Kenma muttered. "But do you really have to stare now?"

"I want to memorize every dip and contour of your body, Kenma. I want to memorize every smile, frown, gasp, and glare. I want to memorize the way your face twists in ecstasy so when I close my eyes I can always see you."

Golden eyes widened, scarlet cresting on his cheeks.

"I-idiot!"

"I'm sorry, did I make you self-conscious?" Kuroo asked, voice a sultry rumble, holding not a shred of remorse.

Kenma's gaze narrowed dangerously. "Don't play with me Tetsurou."

"I like that look. I think I'm enamored with this assertive Kenma. Show me more of him, won't you?"

Kenma pushed Kuroo back. Kuroo watching as slender fingers made quick work of his belt buckle, thumbs hooking in the fabric and pushing it down over his hips and kicking it off leaving him in nothing but a pair of grey boxer briefs, hugging him tightly and leaving little to the imagination.

"Now I think one of us is a bit overdressed," Kenma said unflinchingly serious. "Do something about it."

Kuroo blinked before doubling over laughing. "Fuck that's too sexy."

Fuming silently, Kenma sat up turning his back to Kuroo.

"Ah wait! Sorry! Sorry!" Kuroo said quickly. "You better turn around if you don't want to miss the show – short show that it'll be."

Kenma glanced over his shoulder, eyes meeting Kuroo's as the black t-shirt was removed without the slightest flourish, muscles rippling beneath his skin with the movement, tight abs, strong biceps, and defined forearms. Kuroo's hands fell to his hips.

"Wait."

"Hmm?"

"I- I want to."

"Is that so? Then get over here."

Kenma turned, falling to his hands and crawling over, in what Kuroo noted to be a very catlike manner, svelte form shifting sensuously as he approached. Stopping just before Kuroo, Kenma sat back on his heels, finger hesitantly touching Kuroo's abdomen, dancing lightly over the muscles with reverence before teasingly brushing along he hem of his jeans. Looking up to meet Kuroo's gaze, Kenma's fingers worked the belt, button and zipper open in quick succession, hand diving in to palm against Kuroo's erection.

"Ngh," Kuroo grunted, eyes closing briefly as he pressed his hips forward, desiring more friction.

Pulling his hand back, Kenma pushed Kuroo back. "Stand."

Standing back off the bed, Kuroo drank in the incensed gleam in Kenma's eyes as he slid Kuroo's pants down. Black boxers, tight against his thighs. Kenma swallowed. Gaze intense, Kenma hooked his fingers on the hem of Kuroo's boxers, slowly peeling the tight fabric down. Revealing inch by inch the organ that would soon be in him.

"Like what you see?" Kuroo asked with a smirk, to which Kenma's only response was the glazed hungry look in his golden eyes. "Shit, your eyes… I love that fierce look you get when you see something you want. Do you have any idea how ecstatic I am to have those eyes directed at me?"

Kenma stood, silently admiring every exposed inch of Kuroo's body, instinctively dropping to his knees, and stroking a finger along Kuroo's length.

"Kenma?"

"I… want to taste you," Kenma murmured grasping Kuroo's erection and bringing it to his lips before Kuroo could register what he'd said.

"Kenma!"

A slow, tentative lick from base to tip, thumb smearing precum over the head. Pleasure streaked up Kuroo's spine, eyes reflecting the smoldering want burgeoning in him. Another slow but more confident lick. And again. Then Kenma met Kuroo's eyes as his lips spread lewdly, mouth enveloping the head. Kuroo's head snapped back, gritting his teeth as Kema's tongue laved over the tip and down the sides.

"Fuck!" Kuroo pushed Kenma back, lifting the lithe form from the ground and tossing him back on the bed. A keening whimper escaping Kenma as he licked his lips.

Tugging Kenma's boxers off, Kuroo beheld the completely nude form. Intensely, adoringly, greedily.

"Tetsurou~" Kenma keened shifting his hips under the scrutiny.

"Lube," Kuroo rasped.

"My pants pocket."

Kuroo turned, fishing out the small bottle from the discarded article of clothing.

"Condom or bareback?"

"I want to feel you."

Kuroo nodded, pouring the clear liquid into his hands, liberally coating his fingers. "Spread."

Kenma took a breath to calm his thundering heart as he did as he'd been bidden, hands trembling in sudden uncertainty as cool slick fingers drew circles around his anus. He'd taken his mother's advice and stretched a bit in the shower, the sensation of having his finger up his ass was weird and rather uncomfortable, but somehow his whole body was set aflame when the first of Kuroo's fingers slid slowly past the ring of muscles.

"Nghhh~"

"Let me know if it hurts," Kuroo gruffed, as he pushed until his finger was in up to his knuckle. Kenma gave a curt nod as he watched in fascination as Kuroo pulled his finger out, feeling the resistance of his muscles clamping down on the digit. Then in again. And out.

"I can take two, Tetsurou. I prepped with two," Kenma said unabashedly, desperate to do or say anything that would speed up the process. Kuroo said nothing but he did comply, adding a second finger and feeling Kenma clamp down on him as he pushed in to the knuckles again, curling.

"Ahh!" Kenma's eyes widened, a yelp of surprise at the jolt of blazing pleasure shooting up his spine.

Smirking, Kuroo took care to rub at the small bundle of nerves in Kenma's rectum, eliciting a series of mewls and moans and gasps as Kenma writhed atop the bed, dick leaking precum against his stomach.

"S-stop!"

Kuroo didn't, twisting and scissoring his fingers, brushing Kenma's prostate intermittently, driving that flushed body higher and higher.

"T-tetsurou! Stop, I'm gonna… nnngh nngh ahhh!"

Kenma threw his head back, hips bucking onto Kuroo's hand as he came all over his stomach. Kuroo sat back on his knees in fascination. The glazed-eyed, mouth open, cheeks flushed, chest heaving picture of Kenma's post-orgasm face was once he wanted to sear into his very soul. The very first time he'd seen it. It was the most sinfully beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

Then an open palmed slap shocked Kuroo from his thoughts to meet angry golden eyes.

"You stupid fucking moron! I told you to stop!"

"What's the problem?" Kuroo asked cocking a brow, not understanding Kenma's anger.

"What's the problem? What's the damn problem? I told you to stop and you didn't that's the problem! I wanted to cum with you!"

"Yeah, you damn well better," Kuroo said still not understanding.

"You're impossible!" Kenma snapped irritably. "I wanted the first time I cum for you to be with you inside me. With that inside me."

Kuroo stared blankly at Kenma for a moment before his cheeks darkened with red. "Holy shit, Kenma you're so fucking cute!"

Kenma bristled. "Dumbass!"

"Does that mean you're too mad to continue? Do I have to go and take care of this by myself?" Kuroo asked.

"I'll smother you in your sleep if you even think about ending this now."

"Haha, okay," Kuroo grinned, ducking down to plant an apologetic kiss on Kenma's cheek. "Sorry I didn't stop, but entering you will be easier for you if you've already cum once. Forgive me?"

Lips pursed into a pout, but Kenma nodded.

"Now let's see if I can't put that sexy orgasmic expression back on your lovely face."

Kenma huffed but said nothing, as Kuroo poured lube over his cock, making sure it was properly coated before positioning himself at Kenma's entrance.

"Relax," Kuroo said, left hand resting on Kenma's hip, right hand holding himself straight. He began pushing. Kenma's whole body went rigid, the thing pressing at his entrance was nothing like the two fingers.

"Kenma, you have to relax," Kuroo ordered as he pushed, feeling the muscles straining to keep him out.

"I-"

"Deep breath in," Kuroo said pushing, the head pressing past the tight ring of muscles.

"Nnngh!"

"Kenma!" Golden eyes surprised at how painful the pressure was, met Kuroo's concerned gaze. "Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?"

Kenma shook his head, taking the instructed breath of air.

"Now let it out, exhale until you have nothing left to exhale," Kuroo instructed as he started pushing again, the head straining past Kenma's anus, finally inside.

"Ngh anh!" Kenma gasped, breaths coming shorter.

"Deep long breaths Kenma," Kuroo said, right hand reaching up briefly to brush aside some locks of sweat dampened hair.

Kenma didn't know how long it actually took for Kuroo to get all the way inside him, but it felt like an hour. A half arousing, half painful hour. And with Kuroo bottomed out inside him, balls resting against his ass Kenma felt a strange sense of fullness, as if the intruding organ were something to be expelled, anus reflexively constricting, rectal muscles contracting around Kuroo's length.

"I'll stay still until you tell me to, take your time to adjust," Kuroo said, though Kenma could see from the tightness in his jaw and the strained knitting of his brows, that he was having difficulty not moving.

"I-is it painful for you?" Kenma asked as Kuroo grasped his dick and began stroking it, in attempts to detract from the pain.

"Me?"

"Yeah."

"It's tight."

"What does that mean Tetsurou?"

"Just when you clamp down on me, but don't worry about me, let's just concentrate on you for the moment."

"Move."

"What, you're not-"

"Don't pull out, just move a bit," Kenma said gyrating his hips languidly, breath hitching as the length inside him pressed against different areas as he moved. Kuroo too began grinding into Kenma in time with his strokes.

"Ready," Kenma breathed, as the pain gave way to dissatisfaction and craving. Used to the intrusion, he wanted more.

Kuroo slowly pulled out to the head and pushed back in. Pulling out again he paused to pour some more lube on his dick as he pushed back in, slicker, smoother, easier to move.

"Mmm, feels weird but good," Kenma hummed as Kuroo settled into a rhythm.

"Weird but good huh? Then we gotta change that to feels fucking awesome, don't we?" Kuroo said hooking his arms under Kenma's legs and beginning to change the angle of his thrusts. Searching. Searching. Sear-

"Ahhh!"

"There it is," Kuroo smirked as he focused on hitting that same spot with every thrust. Kenma's anus clenching around him, this time as if trying to draw him in further.

"Anhghhh!" Kenma moaned as Kuroo's dick rubbed and bumped his prostate, making his whole body jerk each time. "Again~"

"My pleasure," Kuroo smirked, picking up the pace, until he was near slamming into Kenma's body, a symphony of lewd squelching, impassioned cries, bed creaking, and balls smacking flesh filled the air.

"Nnngh! Mmngh! Ahnn!" Kenma bit his lip, surprised at himself for being so vocal. "I'm close…"

"Me too."

"Want to cum together."

"I know you do."

"It's- uungh ahhnn," Kenma's head lolled back as Kuroo slowed the rapid thrusts to a slow deep gyrating, reaching as far inside Kenma as possible with every stroke.

Kenma's legs quivered as heat like molten liquid pooled in his gut.

"Testurou!,"

"Right there with you, Kenma," Kuroo grunted, suddenly back to slamming into Kenma's prostate.

"Ah! Ah! Ahhhh!"

Kenma came for the second time, his body wracked by orgasm as Kuroo buried himself, spilling his seed inside Kenma with a grunt and lusty groan.

Completely spent, Kuroo pulled out with a wet sucking sound, rolling off Kenma onto his back and tugging Kenma against him. Nothing but heavy breathing and panting. The whisper of sheets as Kuroo pulled the blanket over them.

"You okay?" Kuroo asked.

"Mmmhmm, all of me is tingling."

"Haha, okay as long as nothing hurts."

"Tetsurou…"

"Yeah?"

"I like your orgasm face," Kenma grinned – that sweet, reserved only for Kuroo grin.

"Yeah? I think I could probably get off just thinking about how erotic yours is."

Kenma huffed, but just cuddled closer to Kuroo, sweat cooling on his body. He knew he should probably shower, but he couldn't bring himself to move. So there he stayed, dozing off to the steady pulse of Kuroo's heart.

~End~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Woohoo it's done! Sorry it's late, I meant to have it up earlier, but it was hard to work on this with my six year old niece running up to me every few minutes asking what I was doing... But somehow I manged to finish without having to explain to her why I only seemed to be on my desktop when she looked at my screen ^^; Super awkward but I hope you all enjoyed it. I personally think Kenma's a lot more willful than people give him credit for and that Kuroo would totally be into this sassy demanding side of his. I had a lot of fun writing this, especially Kuroo and Kenma's parents. In my head, they're totally the most chill crazy parents. I might write a sequel with some morning after fun for the light theme towards the end of the month, since I have a couple paragraphs that practically wrote themselves while I was tying up this one. Now onto the secrets theme for #kurokenmonth on tumblr! Should be up by Tuesday.
> 
> As always thanks for your time, all comments are very much welcomed and appreciated :)


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